New Years Resolutions Warm-up!

Today is the start of my new Insane healthy eating diet
It's not a fad or a way to lose weight it's for real medical purposes, and is only the start
I knew I would have to be very strict and structured and knew that my diet would change, but I had hoped not to have to give up my staple foods, luckily (hopefully) I wont have to do this forever.
So what's all the fuss about?
I have to cut out Gluten, Lactose, sugar, Fruit and mushrooms!
And the usual no caffeine, no alcohol
That means no bread, no pasta, no milk, cheese, or yogourt, what am I gonna do!
The suger's not too much of a problem but I eat a lot of pasta and yogourt. And it's not until you have to do something like this that you realise how much wheat you eat.
Finding alternatives can be tricky and can take some looking into, and when I did I was horrified by what some people call food.
I went shopping yesterday worried that I would struggle to find alternatives and enough food to stop me wasting away. Luckily I was surprised to find not only a wide selection of healthy foods but also quite a few "free from" foods in tesco. Some of it looked a little odd and the bread was just Wrong, but I got enough to fill my trolly.
So now the experimenting begins!
As I said this is the warm-up. There is no way that I can feasibly follow this plan at the moment, and especially with the festive season soon on us, no booze, no stilton...I don't think so!
Also it will take a while to work out what my new menu will look like, and to restock the shelves with "healthier" food. All my "No" foods will be going to my friend.
Come the new year the "Plan" comes into full effect. Before then there will be some cheating especially with chocolate, alchyhol and fruit.
I should only have to be this strict for a couple of moths, then I can gradually re-introduce stuff.
And why would I put myself through this? For my health, my friends know that I have not been well and this is one of the many things that I will be doing to improve it.
It may be strange and difficult but if it works I will be a very happy bunny indeed.
I'll let you know how it goes.

No Shame, No Brains!

"Battle for Baghdad, The Fight for Freedom"

I had to look this up to believe it!

The United States-led invasion of Iraq may not have been quite the "cakewalk" predicted by some, but now it has been made into a board game and released on the American market just in time for Christmas.
Based on events that actually occurred during and after the invasion, cards drawn by the players determine whether they gain or lose troops from their initial 3,000-strong force on Iraq's borders.
Chance cards like in Monopoly:
"Disgrace", appears on a card of a female soldier holding an Iraqi detainee on a leash. It reads: "Some soldiers are found guilty of unlawful treatment and inhumane acts of violence towards Iraqi prisoners. You lose 100 troops."
And in another, a "beautiful young woman" takes out 50 men in a suicide bombing.
Many have complained:
"This is the height of American capitalist arrogance. A company can produce a board game so that our children can trivialise and misinterpret the destruction of a nation, the corruption of our nation, the slaughter of humans, American and Iraqi."
The creator said
"As an American, I was raised to believe that we should have ideas and try to make money out of them. That's the American way."
Read the full article here

Winter Warmth with Style

KHUSHBIZ

I'm finally getting my own Uggs to keep my tootsies warm this winter
And they are so needed!
I can not recomend these products enough. They are fantastic and incredibly well made.
They come in all shapes, sizes and colours.
The colours and textures can not be appreciated here, but they are wonderful and luxurious.
What's more they will last you a lifetime.
This very talented lady makes boots, scarves, hats and bags, as well as kids stuff
So treat yourself or a friend
Follow the link...

The Subliminal Reassurances of Procedural Dramas

Just read this and it tickled my funny bone. I love some of these programs, but this is genious

The Subliminal Reassurances of Procedural Dramas
From Powazek
JUST A THOUGHT FROM 24 November 2005

Bones - Don't worry, if you get killed and all that's left of you are your bones, a brilliant but socially awkward woman and a vampire with a soul will solve the crime using a combination of 3D imaging and sexual tension.

Cold Case - Don't worry, if you died a long time ago, a malnourished woman in blue light will catch the bad guy through the power of flashbacks.

Criminal Minds - Don't worry, if you're killed by a serial killer, a team of oddballs led by a brilliant but broken man will catch him with a combination of psychology, visual effects, and Bartlett's Quotations. With guest appearances by the cocky agent guy, the computer-bound nerd girl, and so-smart-he's-practically-autistic kid.

Follow the link above for the rest...

Snow

I awoke this morning to blinding white light flowing through my curtains
looking out the window, all my view was white
Snow covered everything

Today I awoke to find that winter is trully here.
Several inches of snow covered the fields and trees, it was beautiful.
Not quite the pic above, although it may have been early this morning while I was still sleeping.
Unfortunately as I do not have a digi-cam (yet!) I had to borow a deviant pic, but you get the idea.
Winter how I like it
Blue skies and pure white snow covering the world

Very Talented Boys Indeed

MALCOLM MAGIC 8 – OUT NOW!

The 8th instalment in the ongoing adventure of everyone’s favourite drunk bunny has arrived. Featuring more ACTION, more GIGGLES and more DANGER than ever before! Fikov, Chester and Reggy are on trial for a crime they DID commit while Malcolm, Pygmy, and Bright Eyes discover there are worse things in Nodsuf than not being able to find a bar!
Once more the glorious techni-black-and-white-and-colour® pages produced by our resident scribbler have been wowing reviewers across the globe. TheFourthRail.com had this to say:
"Lawrence Etherington’s colour work is astoundingly good…a level of detail comparable to guys like Geoff Darrow (‘The Matrix’ trilogy concept artist/Shaolin Cowboy) but with a slightly cartoonier look that really suits the book…"

Come see for yourself with our trusty ‘try before you buy’ preview section over at StudioBlinkTwice...for a 4-page preview of the issue and previous titles, and to order your copy today!

BRIGHTON COMIC EXPO – THIS WEEKEND!!!

Saturday 19th –20th November (this Saturday!) marks the start of a new date for the comic calendar as the first Brighton Comic Expo kicks off in style. 100’s of special guests, publishers and independent creators will be on hand to demonstrate why comics are so much fun.
The Blink Boys will be there in force.
Bob is currently priming himself to chat away about our current titles, upcoming projects and everything comic-related. Lorenzo will be discussing the art of Blink Twice and sketching mountains of limited edition pencil/pen or ink treats for those lucky folks at the show.

Mark will be showcasing the latest demo version of the Malcolm Magic Computer Game.
GO HERE

I made it

Well I made it to London. Yes I'm actually here in da big smoke.

My trips are usually fraught with some anxiety, but for some inexplicable reason I was pretty calm and I really enjoyed the journey.

So many people, so close together, but each in their own worlds. Eyes occasionally flicking up at some movement in the isle. Occasional nervous smiles and looks. Some blank and staring, some sneakily reading other's papers.

Images and memories come to me out of the dark. Fields, trees, buildings, lights. Childhood train rides, to and from homes.

The fields and trees gradually being replaced by buildings and roads. The green spaces lessen as London approaches. The quiet calm of home turning to the hussle and bussle of so many people going about thier lives.

I never liked growing up here . It was too polluted, too noisy and far too many people. Plus there was not nearly enough greenery for my liking.

It still is all those things, but now that I'm a just a visitor I'm able to focus on the more pleasant and fun aspects.

And for the first time I have not felt any negativity. Like seeing it with fresh eyes.

The sensations felt new but somehow familiar. Comfortable, pleasant, exciting.

As I'm writing this I'm sat in my friend F's house listening to him playing the guitar and singing, it's lovely. I so miss hearing people play, there's something very special about it, tranquil, calm, yet uplifling.

A late night drinking and smoking has left us spaced out but content.

So now, as I have friends to see and fun to be had, I'm going off to plan out my week.

And not only do I not have to cook my supper tonight I'm going to a lovely pub only five minutes away! Hoorah for London convenience!

Deviant Artists (Blackeri)

Yet another stunning peice of work by a young Deviant.
Blackeri (Marta Dahlig) is only 20 and is from Poland.
It never ceases to amaze me the talents of people, especially such young ones.
She's about halfway through her "Seven Deadly Sins" project and each work is excellent, great idea, beautiful and expertely done. I especially like the Ivy frame.
I think this took her about 60 hrs. Now that's dedication.
I'm a little too impatient, plus I have a short attention span!
I hope you like this and will check out her other work.

I also...

This weekend I also got to see three great films:

The Chronicles of Riddick

I really liked Pitch Black, the idea, the cinematography and Riddick's anti-hero/hero character. So I looked forward to The Chronicles, although some had said it was not so good, oh how wrong they were.
I am crap at writing reviews, and so this is not one!
I loved the ideas, themes, comic book esq feeling, interesting characters and amazing scenery.
The idea of a race forcing their beliefs on others, the awesome ships with iconic designs, so they can sweep down on a planet and take it over in no time, leaving no question as to who the people should be bowing down to. The casting, the acting, the stunts, all great.
And of course the lovely and feisty Alexa Davalos
(who played and equally feisty and beautiful woman in Angel, I thought she seemed familiar)
And Vin's pretty cool too.
I should shut up now, cos I'm not making the kind of sense I would like to.
Suffice it to say this is a good film and more than that a great and suprising DVD, great extras and a suprise or two!
I look forward to further Chronicles



Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines

What a great intro...A stunning woman, walking through the streets, nekid! And what a woman (although I have to say that I preferred her with the long wavy hair than the tight look, she reminded me too much of an ex Eastender).
Unfortunately I was distracted from the film by a phone call, but a happy distraction.
I don't really need to say much about this film, Terminator kicks ass!



New Port South

I was about to go to bed, but was delayed slightly by something that slips my mind right now, and glad I was to or I would have missed this. It did mean a late night but was worth it.
What hooked me in was when they said about a boy who had escaped from a mental hospital and was then freeing other patients from other institutions.
I thoroughly enjoyed the first half of the film. I thought the script was great as was the idea-a disenchanted student decides to make a statement and a difference to a school he believes is another form of institution or asylum. No big names (nice change), but some good acting.
Unfortunately the film lacked "meat" it felt a little slow and wishy washy at times, and about three quarters through dropped into an abyss of unnecessary predictability, sell-out, weakness and stolen ideas.
I still enjoyed it, although the end was seriously disappointing, instead of fighting the system and making a difference, he lost the plot and his plans fizzled out (as did the film), and so no lessons were learnt by anyone, the teachers got away with it, and the kid probably got sent to the asylum.
On a plus this is the first film I've seen that harks back to those great 80's teen films like The Breakfast Club and Heathers. We need more of that sort of thing, and more integrity in films.
I don't know if the writer planned the film to go this way or was pushed to change it, but I would like to see what else he has written (and perhaps ask him to redo the film with a better ending!)
Ok, just checked out his bio and all becomes clear. James Hughes the writer and producer is the son of the famous John Hughes who brought us the wonderful Breakfast Club, as well as other 80's greats such as Ferris Buellers Day Off, Pretty in Pink and weird Science!
So what went wrong?

On reflection...

It was probably for the best that I stayed home this weekend.
As much as I would have loved to go out and have some fun, I have had a lot to do.
So I was able to catch up with some work and some fun stuff too.
Spent ages on the net and wrote over 2000 words in total for different things (blog, mail, research,& general writing)
And most importantly I need to conserve my energies for my trip to London next week.
It's meant to be a break, but my diary is already filling up! So much to do, so many people to see.
Have to find a healthy but fun balance...hmm, easier said than done.
It's meant to be a quiet gettaway but that's tricky in a busy metropolis like London.
I'm kinda doing things the wrong way round, I live in a very quiet spot, and am going to a city for a gettaway...go figure.
And there really is so much to do in London. It's been several years since I've been and there is a lot I'm looking forward to. Apart from the obvious of seeing some of my friends, I'm mainly looking forward to going to a coffee shop for a nice Latte, and being able to order takeaways!
Sad or strange it may seem, but when you've been living in the sticks with the nearest shop (and not a very good one) six miles away, little things come to mean a great deal!
There is of course all the other lovely things London has to offer like galleries and theatre's and a decent nightlife!
It will also be strange to be around so many people, cars, buildings and noise! Although I spent a long time living in London it was a long time ago and I have been living a very hermetic lifestyle (not by choice) recently.
I'm used to, and love greenery, serenity and wildlife...things in short supply in London.
That's why London for me is great to visit but not to live.

Quite Interesting

I Love this program so much. It has me crying with laughter every time.
It is also the perfect platform for Mr Fry.
It's entertaining and educational.

These are some of the bits I found interesting:
Did you know that during WW2 (I think) "We" were using radar to shoot down German planes. So as not to tip them off and to seem more impressive, how it was really done was kept a secret. The government then hit on a great idea to get kids eating more vedge (hang on, aren't they still doing that ?!), said that carrots helped you see in the dark. Now we all know this and were probably told it by our parents. It is however a complete fallacy! Totally made up. Just another load of Bunkum the government fed us (no pun intended) to get us to do what they felt we should. Now I believe that eating vedge is a good thing but lying is no way to achieve anything.
(Even tho that seems to be exactly what the government are doing, and getting away with it!)
For more interesting Qi carrots facts and fiction go here
~
There are more molecules in a glass of water than there are grains of sand on the entire planet!
~
"The Laughing Cavalier was on cannabis"
Well the canvas it was painted on was made of hemp. And the word canvas comes from the Greek meaning cannabis.
For more Qi cannabis related interest go here
~
How many senses do we have? -Five with that elusive sixth sense.
Wrong
We do in fact have about twenty one
These include things like feeling heat, position of arms and legs, fullness of bladder, feeling heat and pain. Sense of balance.
Wikipedia sais
Qi chat sais

Has to heard to be believed!

(Looking for a pic to post with this, I was going to go for the obvious "His Marsters Voice", then found this "updated version" very fitting for pet-net-radio I thought, and kinda cute)

Only in America - thank god
I saw this on some tv program last night and had to check to see if it was true, and yes it was.
A radio station for pets, yes I said a radion station for pets!
Being a pet owner myself, and some of you may agree, that you can't really knock the idea...Ok so, yes you can. But leaving your pets, especially dogs alone at home all day is not so great for them, they can get lonely. Many a time I've returned home to find chaos.
So this lady in America decides that she will set up a station especially for pets, to keep them company while their owner/houseguest is at work-aahh. Bonkers!
Having only piss poor dial-up I was not treated to the delights of the show, maybe someone out there who's bored enough will have a listen and let me know what it's like.
With 556793 hits on the webpage maybe it's more popular than you'd first think, or it could just be the freak factor.
I guess if this lady is happy to spend her time and money on this, then good on her.
Crazy or genius? You decide (although you probably don't care!)

Weekend plans scrapped.

Yesterday I was looking forward to a weekend of fireworks, films and fornication! Unfortunately unforseen circumstances meant that these plans had to be scrapped-boo hoo
I love fireworks (I'm a real kid about it), was really looking forward to watching Sin City and of course finally getting some satisfaction with the "oh so lovely".
So instead of fun, friends and frolicks, I have quiet, solitary contemplation!-poo
So what's a girl to do? Luckily I am used to amusing myself (insert obvious joke here. You know who I'm talking to-Shep!) and "thinking positively" so what's on offer?
There's housework!-woo hoo (that's meant to be sarcastic, not sure how to "write" sarcasm, but I'm sure you got it) (My room is a mess of clothes everywhere from my manic packing thinking I was going away). I really need to do some cooking for the week ahead. Also some planning for a meeting. But that's all boring stuff and it is the weekend.
Then of course there's the net -thank god, what would I do without it?. So I guess that's me set! I can write up some blog stuff, do some research, play with pretty pictures, chat to some friends, and generally mooch around. A semi- contructive way to waste/occupy the afternoon.
Would I rather be invloved in some naked debauchery-hell yes, but alas my forced frustration continues. I do worry at times, I find myself getting either obsesed with sex, thinking about it all the time or not thinking about it at all. And my "interest" in Spike aka James Marsters is getting a little out of control! Need to release some of that pent up energy!
I have found some fun to be had on the net tho. The latest issue of Scarlet is packed full of kinky naughtiness and some interesting looking sites that I'll be checking out later (I came across this gem of a mag by accident, and now am a happy subscriber, well I needed something to balance out reading New Internationlist and Mental Health mags). It's unashamedly open about womens sex life's and how to get the most out of them-hoorah, about time. If I can't get my rocks of in real life then I'll have to settle for the virtual world...Oh dear!
I'm also going to try and catch up with some writing and reading.
I love where I live, being far out in the sticks. However not being able to drive at the mo means that I am stuck here, no choice. No nipping out to the shops, no take-aways, no popping down the pub. So it's lucky I like it here. And in this weather it's not so bad, with the rain and wind outside I'm quite happy to curl up infront of a log fire with a good book and my cats-mmm very cosy.

One person does make a difference

In rememberance and respect of
Rosa Parks

"On 1 December 1955 in Montgomery, Alabama, a quiet and dignified 42-year-old black seamstress refused to give up her seat to a white passenger. Her arrest led to a 381-day boycott of the city's bus system, led by Martin Luther King, which is now considered the beginning of the American civil rights movement"

She died in her sleep at her home in Detroit, Michigan on ture 25t oct at the age of 92

One woman started a movement that changed the world
It is one person that starts or makes the most significant changes in our world
We are each one person
What do you want to change?

Oops indeed!

2/11/2005

Oops

Filed under:

• researchmaterial

— warrenellis @ 8:26 pm

Obvious lunatic asks internet forum for information about ammunition. Internet forum tells obvious lunatic what ammo to buy and where. Obvious lunatic dresses as a cross between Jason Voorhees and Batman, goes on shooting spree, kills two people, then himself.

---

DrakeriderCa wrote-"We can't blame ourselves. Think of how many times things like this have happened harmlessly in this forum, or others we've all been in. We've been conditioned to deal with gimmicks and dumb shits. We did our job. He asked for advice, we gave it. When he turned gimmick, we made fun of him. When it appeared he was dangerous, we cut him off. I can't see anything wrong with that. Shame about people dying though."

I read through some of the posts and was confused at first then shocked to see such open gun-ho-ness. Especially one guy saying that "anti-gun law encouraged gun crime"!
I'm so glad I live in England.

~~~

I've had a strange life
Filled with so much pain
Constantly moving, changing
But also filled with amazing moments
I've been so close so many times
I've experienced wonderful things
Touched amazing souls
I've witnessed my potential, but not yet acheived it
I strive ever for the good
And I can't wait to see what the future has in store

Deviant Artists (Wishmistress)

Wishmistress is a beautiful and dark lady from France producing some stunning Gothic work
Check out her gallery

Nelson Mandela is a comic...book

"You know you are famous when you discover you have become a comic book character," Nelson Mandela joked at the launch of a comic series about his life"
BBC News in Pictures

Finding new ways to educate and inspire the next generation

The Future is Flock?

Many of you may have already heard of this. I caught the news on Newsnight.
Internet browsing has already had a wonderful new lease of life with Firefox, I for one will never go back to Explorer. Now there is a new player in town, "Flock", set to radicalize the way we browse, and largely spurred on by blogging. The developers are creating an opensource (free) program that makes communicating, blogging and sharing with others much simpler.
I'm all for this for many reasons, one being that I love blogging with all it's potential and possibilities, I love being able to share my thoughts and interests with others, especially as some of my friends live so far away, and I love new technology! But what I really love about this is that it is cutting out the corporations, it's free and encourages people to share what they have, if we're really lucky it may destroy them all together (well I can dream). I feel it will also help bring people together, even if it's virtually, our society is getting scarily closed off.
It's still in the development stages and as my technical know-how is shamefully poor and have no back up system at the mo I can't risk it crashing my system, but I am itching to try it out.
For more info check out what the BBC said or what Flock say themselves
God bless the geeks for they shall inherit the earth

So cute I just had to post this

Beavers in "wild" after centuries

"Beavers have been reintroduced to England, 500 years after they were hunted to extinction for their fur"

What a good idea and what a sweet creature. Although I'm sure it won't be too long till people are complaining of the damage they do, until then just enjoy the wonder that is the beaver.

Wonderful Wedding

The wedding was as I expected, wonderful, in fact that goes nowhere near to describing it. It was definately the best wedding I've been to. Everything was perfect, the weather held up the setting was beautiful, the bride and groom looked amazing and everybody was in good chear and delighted for the couple.
Weddings can be a stressed and strained affair, this was not, everyone seemed relaxed, with some nervous excitement. Everyone was smiling and there was many a tear shed, including the registrar who actually lost her use of speach at one point, which goes to show what an emotional and overwhelmingly happy event it was.
The bride and groom then skipped down the isle hand in hand with big smiles on their faces.
The usual photo's and food followed. The people at my table were all lovely and we happily chatted away. Then the band struck up and being Jazz poeples the music was excellent, and had everyone up dancing for the rest of the evening. The disco that had been laid on was ignored as we boogied away like crazy people.
Alas no flirting for me as it was almost entirely couples but I had so much fun I didn't mind.
When they finally managed to kick us out of the castle we headed back to one of the places we were staying and continued to drink and chat into the small hours. And then I retired to my wonderful room and comfy bed to sleep, very contented and very happy for my friends and for the lovely people I had met.
I hope that I find that kind of happiness with someone who makes me as happy as they so obviously make each other. It is clear that they have found their soulmate, the person they are meant to be with, their perfect partner. I know that may sound a little soppy and romantic, and I know that life is not perfect but what they have is wonderful to witness.

Tomorrow I'm actually getting out of the house, and to do something fun. Not just fun but wonderful.
One of my dearest friends is getting married, in a castle!!!(the one in the pic). How cool is that. I am so happy for him, he is a truly wonderful human being and his fiance is great and perfect for him. The moment I met her I knew she was the one. They are a such a good match and he so deserves happiness. It really restores my hope in love, life, happiness, the universe and meeting that special someone. As for me I am excited to be going and very happy. I get to see my good friend married, I get to dress up in a nice frock (I love getting all dressed up, in fact I tend to go overboard a little), have some fun, and I get to have a bit of a boogie. Many of them are muso's and party animals, so there could be some sore heads in the morning! I am however a little nervous, I'm going on my own, the only people I know are going to be fully involved in wedding stuff, so some awkwardness to deal with. I'm a very social person, but I have been out of circulation for a while, so my nerves are high. Also my health is not at it's best which makes things more difficult and means more preparation. I am however as prepared as I can be, and I am really looking forward to it. I'm also looking forward to seeing the odd old face and meeting some new ones, good people have good friends. And if I'm really lucky I might get to do some flirting!

I'll let you know how it goes.

Lesbian Porn on BBC2!!!

After being sucked into watching Jaws2 last night-much suspense, jumps and cornyness. When it finished, although I had to go to bed, I did the usual of flicking through the channels (why, when I know I have to go to bed!). The first channel showed two girls in a barn, and my immediate thought was "hmm lesbian setup", but figured it was my wishfull thinking, 30 secs later my thoughts were realised, I was right. What ensued was some major sofcore lesbian porn! Set in a reform school. How cliche but what more could you want? Well personally it would have been great if the whole film had been porn, but we can't always get what we want. The Big shock, was that it was on BBC2!! -Well done them. I was so suprised, I didn't think they would show something like that, more of a 5 thing.
I watched till the end, yes hoping for more nakedness, but alas. And then I realised how it managed to be on 2, it was based on a true story, and quite a good story by the looks of things. I actually wanted to watch the whole thing, as I had only got tha last 15mins.
If your really interested the films called Reform School Girl-even the titles porn esq.
Anyway thought I would share my suprise with you.

Prozac Placebo (+rant)

I have strong views about mental health, the mental health system and about treatment and attitudes. As you will be sure to see in my posts to come. For now I wanted to share this, I found it via the wonderful Qi site, and glad I am too. I have very strong views about anti-depressants. The fact that they are handed out like sweeties, with usually no other help or explanation/education or support offered. This is wrong and dangerous. Anti-d's are meant for the treatment of severe depression and only for short periods, to lift the person enough to enable them and their Dr or whoever to help them get better. Instead, if you go to your Dr complaining of feeling down and not sleeping, chances are you'll be given some anti-d's and sent home, and if it does not work, they'll usually just up the dosage! I even knew someone given it for acne!
Why is this? Because, as with all public services the government feels that the money to run them properly could be better spent on other things like war, and nice lunches! So Dr's have 5mins to deal with the patient, knowing that there are few, if any services that can help them. Counselling, therapy, support groups, holistic treatments etc that could help are in short supply. Even if you are very ill and really need help, you're unlikely to get the treatment you need. Also there has been an ever increasing shift away from people towards money and business. How many billions are made by the companies that make these drugs? And more importantly why is this not aonly allowed to happen but encouraged!?
I am not saying that they should be outlawed, as they do work for some poeple, in the right situation. What really needs to be done is firstly proper regulation of companies, it is well documented now that the company making Seroxat (Glaxo Smith Kline) knew for about 15 yrs that this drug caused increased suicidal tendancies! And they covered it up!
I could go on and on but I will save it for another day, and write a proper piece.
For now, I'd say, always check things out for yourself, don't take someones word for it especially just because they are a "proffesional"
There are many and varied ways to treat and help people, just offering support, love and a listening can in itself help hugely.


"Irving Kirsch, a psychologist at the University of Connecticut, believes that the effectiveness of Prozac and similar drugs may be attributed almost entirely to the placebo effect. He and Guy Sapirstein analyzed 19 clinical trials of antidepressants and concluded that the expectation of improvement, not adjustments in brain chemistry, accounted for 75 percent of the drugs' effectiveness (Kirsh 1998). "The critical factor," says Kirsch, "is our beliefs about what's going to happen to us. You don't have to rely on drugs to see profound transformation." In an earlier study, Sapirstein analyzed 39 studies, done between 1974 and 1995, of depressed patients treated with drugs, psychotherapy, or a combination of both. He found that 50 percent of the drug effect is due to the placebo response."

"A person's beliefs and hopes about a treatment, combined with their suggestibility, may have a significant biochemical effect. Sensory experience and thoughts can affect neurochemistry. The body's neurochemical system affects and is affected by other biochemical systems, including the hormonal and immune systems. Thus, it is consistent with current knowledge that a person's hopeful attitude and beliefs may be very important to their physical well-being and recovery from injury or illness."

Here's To The Crazy Ones

Here’s to the crazy ones.

The misfits.

The rebels.

The troublemakers.

The round pegs in the square holes.

The ones who see things differently.


They’re not fond of rules.

And they have no respect for the status quo.


You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them,

disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.

About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.

Because they change things.


They invent. They imagine. They heal.

They explore. They create. They inspire.

They push the human race forward.


Maybe they have to be crazy.

How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?

While some see them as the crazy ones,

We see genius

Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Debt Trap

A little something from anxiety culture
"Debt is disguised Poverty"
"The average dept per Uk household is around £7000, excluding mortgages. Politicians want us to believe this is due to irresposible spendthrifts abusing easy credit, but according to recent research at least one in five people in Britain resorts to debt to cover basic living costs.
Of course some people do use credit to fund "greedy" lifestyles, but overall spiralling debt has more to do with Britain's low-wage culture and high poverty level.
One in five UK households lives on a poverty-level income.
Wages at the lower end of the market are less now in real terms, than in the 1970's.
While banks and credit compnies make record profits from criminally misleading promotions, they're quick to lecture us on "responsibility". It's no coincidence that record bank profits are announced at the same time as record household debt.
Debt functions as a social control mechanism, making us anything but "free". You can't afford to be choosy about jobs when you're in debt. The people that run the economy see this as a good thing."
For the full article, and more go here

I'm on a roll...a blog roll!

Thanks, yet again to my dear friend Cliff I am becoming an accomplished blogger, understanding html and everything! I can put links in my posts and move bits around
I'm very pleased
Its so nice when you achieve or accomplish something
And now of course I have more ideas and more things I want to do and to add!!!


And for those of you who can't read this too clearly (Cliff!) cos of the colour...sorry but, tuff! I like it, so if you want to read it you'll have to highlight it.

What Are You Really Putting On Your Body?

Thanks to "Romoblog" for this.

The Environmental Working Group (EWG) has created a safety report on the numerous substances we use for body care. The site allows the visitor to search through numerous brands and find out what poisons they are using on their bodies. It’s fascinating and (not just mildly) frightening. EWG Report: Skin Deep

Check it out, it's pretty scary. I checked my "friendly and sensitive" face scrub to find that it is full of scary stuff. I try to be very environmentally friendly, cruelty free and kind to my body. Guess I'll have to rethink my shopping list. Thankfully the site does list the healthier options.

Deviant Artists (Enayla)

It's tuesday so it's time to introduce another artist.
This is by Enayla, it took a while to choose a picture as there are so many I like, but in the end I went for this, after all it is seasonal.
Her work is stunning. A few of the pictures may be a little dark for some people, but you can't ignore the talent. And her androgynous subjects are gorgeous.
I am a big fan, especially of "Into Your Eyes", "Do Not Whiser Into The Wind", "Jeirehneen", "Estranged", Telynohn" and "The Hunt Begins"
For the full effect you need to see these full size, to see all the detail.
I hope you like.
Click on the picture to take you to her site, then check out her gallery

Anxiety Culture

I've jsut added a link to the Anxiety Culture website.
My friend The Invisible Man introduced me to it and I love it.
It is...(to quote from them)
"A web magazine with a wealth of ideas & gimmicks for navigating the crazy, paraniod, work obsessed, media crapulent times we live in.
We have a vast, intoxicating mixture of outsider psychology, anti-establishment rants, spoof ads, philosophy, DIY propaganda, subversive graphics, anti-work viewpoints, cartoons, jokes, usefull facts and underground news".
This does not do it justice.
There is a vast amount of useful, interesting and funny stuff on this site and recomend several visits to take it in. Go to the contents page and you are sure to find something that sparks your interest.
The anti-work items are genius and the truth behind the politics and media can be shocking.
I hope it encourages people to think more and perhaps help change things for the better.
Enjoy

Quote of the Week - Something to ponder

Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain.
The quality of that relationship will determin the qaulity of our other relationships.
And when we have learned to stand on our two feet, we are ready to stand next to someone.
-Beattie

Revelations

Yesterday I finally posted something a little more personal. Although some of it I had written the night before, when I sat down to write it bits were added as I wrote, not planned, they just flowed out. I was only slightly aware at the time and pleased with what I had written.
Later (while sat on the loo. Why is it that so many good ideas come to you while on the loo?) I had a realisation, I was thinking about my post and feeling those panicky worried automatic thoughts rising, and realised that I felt guilty. Then it came to me...I felt like I should be apologising. And that's exactly what holds me back all that learnt behaviour, much of it I am aware of (as I have spent years trying to understand it and fix the problems), but it's great when a new realisation occurs.
The important point to this is that I have tried "free writing" before and found it difficult, however some of last nights post was free written, even though I did not realise it at the time, and in doing so it triggered things in my mind that allow me insight and a better understanding.
So finally I get a great understanding of the (possibly not so obvious) benefits of free writing.
I'll definately keep at it.

Emotional Times

I've wanted to post some more personal and emotional stuff but have been struggling, either through fear or insecurity or writers block.
My friend Cliff has encouraged me and reading Serendipity's blog and the Hobbit's has also encouraged me-I really admire her openness.
And this week seems to be full of emotional outpouring especially in blogs.
My writers block has been hindering me but I managed to put some thought to paper so here it is.
Argh!
I am... I can't put it into words.
One thing I have learnt recently is that I can not express my true feelings clearly. Only in a very basic way eg. Sad Happy Angry, but not in detail, not clearly and not how I want. Even if it's just trying to express it for myself, so that I have a better understanding and/or can do something about it if necesary. I knew that I found it difficult expressing my feelings, but hadn't realised that I'd almost lost the ability entirely. That's what years of not being able to will do.
It's especially annoying as I'm usually known for being articulate.
In the past it was made very clear that I should really keep my feelings to myself especially the bad stuff. Either the adults in my life did not want to know or would question or disagree with what I said, or ignore me, or worse, lie to me. And I'm talking about dealing with serious feelings and issues, not trivial stuff.
Families really can F**** you up!
So I grew up feeling guilty for feeling bad and had no real concept of feeling good or what would make me feel good. And my family, other supposedly caring adults and the odd partner made sure that I stayed that way. It is only now that I have seperated myself from my family and other bad influences that I can finally hear the truth, and stop being scared.
Now I know that they were the weak ones, not me, they could not face or deal with difficult things, especially when they were responsible. And the only reason they said that I was the weak one was to cover up their frailties and keep me questioning myself, allowing them to get away with some awful behaviour.
I've come to believe that emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse. At least with open violence you can see it, as can others, it's easier in a way to do something about it (although far too often nothing is done). Also bruises and cuts heal themselves, it's far harder to heal emotional scars. However with emotional abuse firstly it can go on without you realising it, and it can be harder to prove and usually nothing is done about it, it is left for the victim to pick up the peices, often alone, with no justice. The emotional abuse is often the prerequisite for the physical stuff, you have to beat down a persons confidence and self esteem, self worth before you can get away with assaulting them.
It's so important to surround yourself with decent, honest caring people. I am very lucky in that I have some trully wonderful friends who have not only helped me through the hard times but on occasion saved my life.
Opening yourself up is scary, especially the personal and emotional stuff. You're vulnerable, vulnerable to being taken advantage of. When I read other peoples emotional outpourings I am pleased that they shared it and impressed with their strength and honesty, and anyone who is negative or tries to take advantage is just weak and pathetic, so I guess I should shut up and get on with it!
Cliff sais to just write, just put it out there, I know he's right, but puting it into practice is hard.
Actually just righting this is helping, I'm pursueding myself! There's progress!
Maybe I'll open the flood gates. I kinda hope so. As much as I want to just blurt it all out, expunge all that bad stuff that still tortures and poisens my mind, I get blocked, stuck, mute!
But this is definately a start.

Deviant Artists (Kakbarnf)

Hapland
This is both Art and Entertainment
This game looks simple but looks can be decieving, it's a lot trickier and is totally addictive. I highly recomend you have a go, it's a great way to waste some time. And if you finish it you can try out Hapland 2. Or check out his other games and his "Foon" site
I had to have hints to finish it. So if you find yourself stuck then drop me a line and I'll let you know. Although the satisfaction of working it out yourself is great.
Click on the pic above for the game

Quote of the Week

You're never really done for if you've got a good story and someone to tell it to

Tim Roth from The Film 1900

Brings back memories

There are thousands of compilation cd's brought out and when I hear the adds there's usually only one or two tracks I like, and seeing as they usually advertise it with the best tracks and the rest of the album usually turns out to be crap I never buy them.
This however is different. Every tune they played I love, and do indeed remember them from my youth. And reading the track list this is a must get.
It includes such greats as: The Charlatans - The Only One I Know, The Wonder Stuff - The Size Of A Cow, Deee-Lite - Groove Is In The Heart, The La's - There She Goes, James - Sit Down, Transvision Vamp - Baby I Don't Care, Manic Street Preachers - Motorcycle Emptiness, Spin Doctors - Two Princes, They Might Be Giants - Birdhouse In Your Soul.
And great timing as I've been thinking of putting together a "Tracks of my Youth" Cd
Reminds me of good time in Oxford, I'm sure you'll agree Cliff.

Real Amazons

Last night I watched Ch4's Sexology (Yes I know I watch a lot of telly)

This show was about Giantesophilia, that's a fetish for Very tall ladies or Amazons.
This series just makes me think: Arn't people amazing, and varied and weird!
And thank god for the internet. Where would all these perves be without it? (Where would I be without it!) What would they be doing?
And does the internet help by offering an outlet for peoples fantasies and kinks or does it encourage more extreme bahaviour?
So for those of you out there with a thing for Amazonians who missed the show here's the cover of the Gullivera comic. Unfortunately I could not find the image of her tied down and semi-naked, this will have to do.

Would you do it with a Doll?

Last night I watched Ch4's Sexology: Obscene Machines
Now I consider myself very open minded when it comes to sex but this creeped me out.
First they had the "Fucking Machines", and to my mind No amount of imagination is going to make them sexy, in fact quite the opposite. If a partner brought one of those out, after the initial shock and rolling around on the floor laughing, I would get my coat and get out of there!
Then came the Dolls! These are meant to be lifelike, "Real" dolls. A giant step up from the inflatable versions yes, but still deeply disturbing, and with a price tag that puts them out of the reach of most.
I personally have always found the idea of "sex dolls" a little disturbing they are creepy and wrong, and should only be used for comic purposes. They make me think of stag nights and lonely pervs who can't get a real date. So I wanted to ask what you think of them, has anyone ever bought one, and why? Or maybe you know someone who has. And if so was it the cheap blow up type or did you/they spend some money? I'm curious.
Back to the programme
The most disturbing part of course was the people that had the dolls. There was a couple who now have four, and they put them into positions, photograph them and put them on the net! There was a certain sadness about them, although they were very open and happy about their toys or "ladies", the glazed look in the woman's eyes was not happy and healthy, I think she could do with some real friends.
Then there's the stereotypical lonely old man perv. He's in his 70's and he has a doll that he dresses up as a school girl! This guy was "car crash tv", as disturbing as he was you just couldn't help watching. He went on to show exactly how he had sex with her! It was the strangest thing I've seen in a long while, he was quite clinical about it, but also said that he loved her! I had to turn away several times. His best line, that had me crying with laughter was "this is the position I call stroking my balls" You couldn't make it up, he then revealed a less than healthy attitude to women "they all have an agenda", should he be locked up? Quite possibly.
The final words were from another pretty scary lady with very squiffy eyes, and thankfully it was indeed healthy. That "a doll or machine will never match up to the real thing" not just for the obvious but because "we all like giving pleasure and seeing the happy response in a real human being"
Must see tv.

Deviant Artists (Neizen)

This is a wonderful picture by a young man who goes by the Deviant name of Neizen
I was so struck by this image and then by his youth (only 18 at the time)
It was this picture that first led me into the wonderful world of DeviantArt. I am continually amazed at the quality of work produced and that many of the artists are so young and so talented, bastards! I'm not at all jelous...honest!
I recomend you take a look and have a browse, you are sure to find something that you like.
To view Neizens gallery use this address http://neizen.deviantart.com/
some are a bit dark but you can't knock the talent. I like the old man.
or
Follow the deviantart link on the right
I aim to introduce an artist a week
Enjoy

"God Officially Fucks Up World"

Research shows that society is worse off for beleiving in God

"RELIGIOUS belief can cause damage to a society, contributing towards high murder rates, abortion, sexual promiscuity and suicide, according to research published today."
“In general, higher rates of belief in and worship of a creator correlate with higher rates of homicide, juvenile and early adult mortality, STD infection rates, teen pregnancy and abortion in the prosperous democracies."

Well we knew that already but it's nice to finally get some solid backing behind it

And ofcourse it's the US leading the way

Thanks to Warren Ellis for this gem

Please follow link to his site for details
www.warrenellis.com/?p=1280

Rebranding gone mad

"Last week, bloggers reeled over reports that the 'Global War Against Terror' (GWAT) was to be rebranded the 'Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism' (GSAVE). That, at least, was what Donald Rumsfeld and others had been telling people."

This really is one of the silliest things I've heard in a while!
Is rebranding really going to fool the American populace? Probably.
Unfortunately it seems that far too many people have serious short term memory problems. It wasn't so long ago that we found out that-yes, we had basically been lied to about the reasons for war (although the real reasons ie. Oil and Money were never really discussed openly, no suprise there), and yet Labour still managed to get elected for another term! What's wrong with people, don't you see what's happening?
This rebranding is just another sick way of covering up and trying to fool the masses.
I for one say enough, it's about time people were held to account

Cocaine at Conference?

I recently heard rumours of cocaine use being found at the Labour conference
Traces were found in the delegate toilets
You would have thought that if this is true then there would be a huge deal made out of it by everyone, especially after the hullaballoo that was made over the Kate Moss allegations, and she's a model who's going out with a known junkie!...but no not a peap.
I decided to google it to get the info myself. I was suprised to see that there were only really three listings, one I could not read, one that mentioned it breifly near the end. Only one site actually reported it, and it was not a UK site it was a Gulf site http://www.gulf-news.com/Articles/WorldNF.asp?ArticleID=184562
So what are we to make of this? Is the story actually true? And if it is why was it not reported? Surely it could not be covered up, as much as Labour would like it to be. So I have contacted Ch4's News Fact checker to see if they could clear up the issue (they had nothing on the story at all)
I will post any replies or info I get.

Feelings

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly feelings and emotions can change. Just one piece of good or bad news can send you rocketing in one emotional direction or another, sometimes totally unexpectedly. At other times you can just wake up feeling crappy. Like I did yesterday. I had had some bad news but still… I just could not shift that nagging dragging dull feeling. I felt insecure and lacking in confidence. I was even scared to post - “what will people think?”, I even worried about it when trying to get to sleep, not in a big way, just kept quietly nagging at me.

I had been expecting guests this weekend but due to a bout of flu on my part I had to cancel it. So instead of fun and frolics I had quiet and solitary weekend. Looking at this rationally it is easy to see why I was feeling blue but it still annoys me that my feelings can be so out of my control. No matter what I did to cheer myself up. And how that can lead me to doubt and question myself, even for something a silly as a blog post.

And now here I am writing something very personal, and just putting it out there.
I am not going to let my past and my pressures dictate my future.
I am me. A complicated but good person, with a lot to give and to share, despite my own self doubts. So I am going to continue to take Cliffy's advice to stop worrying and just write.

What's to come...?

I thought I would give an idea of what things I might be blogging here, a little tricky as I'm not too sure myself
There will be plenty of Rants, on varying topics plus my opinions, discussions & comments on Life, The World, Politics, Art, Theatre, Health including Holistic, ME & Mental health, and some personal stuff. Plus a few odd things & sites I come across, & some erotica
Just some of the things that make up me
Hopefully this will be interesting, informative & a little entertaining
And should serve as a little catharsis for me

Where to begin?

I’m unsure how to start.

There is so much in my head but of course as soon as I sit down to write it all runs off to play hide and seek.

Then there’s the issue of what do I post and what do I keep private.

So many questions.

So again I take my dear friend Cliffy’s advice to “just write”. Write whatever I feel and whatever comes to me.

Gulp!

I will eventually get things organised.

Until then it will be interesting to see what stuff pours out of my brain and makes it onto my blog.

As I become more au fait with things I anticipate some interesting and even informative posts.

Cliff a go go

So go and check out Cliffs Blog at cliff-a-go-go.blogspot.com

It was my long lost friend Cliff who has not only introduced me to the wonderful world of the Blog but has persuaded me to get my own.
So here it is.

This is all new to me so patience please.
I'm sure there will be some strange and interesing posts to come...