Revelations

Yesterday I finally posted something a little more personal. Although some of it I had written the night before, when I sat down to write it bits were added as I wrote, not planned, they just flowed out. I was only slightly aware at the time and pleased with what I had written.
Later (while sat on the loo. Why is it that so many good ideas come to you while on the loo?) I had a realisation, I was thinking about my post and feeling those panicky worried automatic thoughts rising, and realised that I felt guilty. Then it came to me...I felt like I should be apologising. And that's exactly what holds me back all that learnt behaviour, much of it I am aware of (as I have spent years trying to understand it and fix the problems), but it's great when a new realisation occurs.
The important point to this is that I have tried "free writing" before and found it difficult, however some of last nights post was free written, even though I did not realise it at the time, and in doing so it triggered things in my mind that allow me insight and a better understanding.
So finally I get a great understanding of the (possibly not so obvious) benefits of free writing.
I'll definately keep at it.