Feelings

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly feelings and emotions can change. Just one piece of good or bad news can send you rocketing in one emotional direction or another, sometimes totally unexpectedly. At other times you can just wake up feeling crappy. Like I did yesterday. I had had some bad news but still… I just could not shift that nagging dragging dull feeling. I felt insecure and lacking in confidence. I was even scared to post - “what will people think?”, I even worried about it when trying to get to sleep, not in a big way, just kept quietly nagging at me.

I had been expecting guests this weekend but due to a bout of flu on my part I had to cancel it. So instead of fun and frolics I had quiet and solitary weekend. Looking at this rationally it is easy to see why I was feeling blue but it still annoys me that my feelings can be so out of my control. No matter what I did to cheer myself up. And how that can lead me to doubt and question myself, even for something a silly as a blog post.

And now here I am writing something very personal, and just putting it out there.
I am not going to let my past and my pressures dictate my future.
I am me. A complicated but good person, with a lot to give and to share, despite my own self doubts. So I am going to continue to take Cliffy's advice to stop worrying and just write.